Different story today Friday 7th ! Feel like going back to bed, Woke at 4am after waking at 11.50 & 2.22am Went back to sleep till 6.30, went to toilet, and forced myself to stay up, by opening up laptop .
I must listen to my laptop. I swear there must be some kind of sentient awareness in mine, lol, as so often, I find it tells me what to do. If I'm too tired, it will work really slowly, as if it is tired too, up to the point that I decide, to shut it down as I really am too tired to be trying to work coherently.
These days, my connection to the main broadband, over at the main house, will only work inside my tin shed cabin, late at night or early in the morning, the rest of the time I must sit out on the veranda, to be more in line of view, with the modem router. This morning, it was the catalyst for forcing myself to do some writing, instead of hopping back into bed.
Now at 8am, after breaky, I am being called outside to be able to actually post this, by a little Blue Wren, flying at the window, fighting his reflection. It is warmer outside in the sun, so it is time to follow his direction, maybe I'll be successfull in getting his photo, maybe not.
No little Blue Wren had flown away, but I did see a little group of Finches? with a splash of fire red on their throats, all flitting amongst the plants, and I did get in a short walk, investigating what machine was making quite a racket. Thankfully, it was a short job, and gone now, as I sit in the warming sun, the temperature in the shade is still only about 9 degrees, but shaping up to be a warm day, albeit with occasional cool wind/breeze.
I must listen to my body, doing what it needs to do, as well as following the new mindset, repatterned by Carolyn. I must be gentle with myself. I must allow my healing to progress slowly, follow the concepts of the G.E.T. Graded Exercise Therapy. It is hard to just take small steps, and it is hard to wake up this morning and not even feel able to do some of the 'small steps exercises, that I have set out to tick off on my chart. The thing is, I must not feel bad about this, I must recognise that each day is different. Maybe today I'll tackle some of the jobs on my 'To Do' List. There are so many of them that 'glare' at me everyday, as they have done for the past number of years.
I may have been reprogrammed, but it is not a magic cure all, so I must keep telling myself, take it easy, don't be a harsh critic, be happy, be joyful, do something exciting, or creative today, as well as some 5 minute spells on a couple of those unmentionable jobs, then I can tick them off on my charts, and feel some good self esteem for jobs begun, continued or finished.
I must send in an idea to the council, re 'What to do', with the historic Public Toilet in town, about to be renovated into a new purpose. It is in an ideal spot to be a centre for small drop in classes and workshops, for people to learn to crochet for example, to help combat depression, isolation , a place to make a cuppa, have a chat, find out what's happening locally, and maybe learn something new.
It would need a small team of community members to operate, but a wonderful opportunity right in the heart of our small country town. .... ( aaah there's the start of my submission for Expressions of Interest .. Yay !)